It’s 2014. I send out many blessings and special wishes for healing and new life in the New Year. It’s a time for making new beginnings. In a time old tradition, we make New Year’s resolutions and offer gratitude for gifts received.
As I approached the frenetic close of 2013, I kept thinking about my healing journey from twin loss and what kind of resolutions I might have made at different stages of my healing process. I want to share two resolutions I could have made if only I had known what I know now about grief and healing.
Resolution 1: For those traveling through the early stages of loss and those moving forward
“Throughout my deep sense of disconnection and isolation, through the seemingly never ending journey of loss, through all the ups and down of bereavement, I will believe in and trust in my own inner ability to heal.”
Resolution 2: For those who have traveled through the first stages of loss and are moving forward with their healing journey
“I will identify one special trait belonging to my departed twin that I admire, and I will explore how that trait has gifted my life.”
“When I am ready, I will invite that special trait to become a part of myself, to become an active gift that I can express in my ongoing life.”
It is so ironic that gifts will often arise out of the environment of tragedy and deep personal loss. I have found that feeling and expressing gratitude for these gifts when they arise has become a nourishing and even healing part of my life. More and more, I am noticing things that I am grateful for that have sprung from the tragic loss of my twin brother. I’d like to share some of these gifts.
- My twin died — I am a twin.
- My twin died — I am always in the process of finding myself and learning to truly express myself as an individual.
- My twin died — I have become more sensitive to and accepting of the feelings and situations of others.
- My twin died — I am open to and able to receive the gifts of my brother and the gifts of our twinship.
- My twin died — I see through his eyes a bigger world. Through those eyes I walk into a larger sense of connection.
- My twin died — in slowly and painfully freeing him for a new life, I have found my own.
- My twin died — I will always miss him. Through years of stumbling and little steps, I have survived; I thrive.
What are your suggestions for New Year’s resolutions? Would you like to identify a gift that has come out of your wounding and your healing journey of twin loss?
© Mary R. Morgan